


life in polis

by badgerterritory



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, basically a lis au, but i figured i'd tag it, but not awful, not permanent death!!, v mild body horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 10:19:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6653983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badgerterritory/pseuds/badgerterritory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a tragedy; followed by clarke's discovery of her full abilities.</p><p>(or, how clarke learned to manipulate reality for love.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	life in polis

**Author's Note:**

> here's my life is strange au
> 
> i was going to write fluff but this happened instead, i guess

Pain.

That was the only thing in Clarke’s head, in her heart, when she heard the gun go off, when she saw the blood blossoming across Lexa’s abdomen. She knew where it’d struck immediately, knew it was likely the bullet hit her spine, she was already dead, she was already dead, she was…

Clarke reached out, tried to reach Lexa. And there was a feeling like being torn to shreds, being unmade and remade, splitting in half and being folded in and over and in again, every awful thing that could happen and more, and when the scream tore itself from her throat, she was back to a minute ago, Murphy standing in front of Lexa, hands hidden.

She tackled him and threw the gun away, and broke a few of his ribs for good measure.

 

Lexa didn’t ask her what happened, and Clarke didn’t offer any explanation. She retired to her room, asked to be left alone, and tried to make it happen again. It took the whole night, and some rearranging, but she did it. It didn’t hurt like it did the first time, but it did feel exceptionally weird. She did it one more time for good measure and it was just vertigo, almost, a strange feeling of every cell being upside down.

 

“Lexa.” Clarke squeezed her arm, hoping she came off normal. As normal as one could be when they were working overtime to keep their lover safe. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

Lexa glanced toward the door where the ambassadors were waiting, then nodded. “Of course, Clarke. What do you need?”

Clarke’s brain shorted out. She hadn’t actually planned on that working. She’d been going at this for a while now, almost ten runs, and hadn’t actually kept Lexa out of the room long enough. She defaulted to leaning in for a kiss, since the hallway was empty. Lexa smiled against her mouth and returned the attention.

Clarke was the one who pulled away after counting to nine in her head. Lexa was glowing like she always was after a kiss. She was smiling, and Clarke smiled when she heard the shouting start up, assassins bursting in to find their target wasn’t present.

 

Sleep was getting rarer. Not because of how much Clarke was doing, but because of how she was doing it. The more she used her power, the more she realized normal things were slipping away from her. One day, she realized she hadn’t eaten in a week, and yet she wasn’t hungry, and she wasn’t losing weight. She noticed her skin getting paler, though, and she had frequent nosebleeds, and not even always when she was using her power. She never slept. When she did, it was in the middle of the day, for an hour or two at a time, and she had the worst nightmares of her life.

That night, she saw Anya, impaled on too many swords to count, and she said, “You know you’re dying, Clarke. You won’t be able to save her.”

Clarke startled Lexa when she woke up, but a few brief kisses convinced her everything was fine.

 

Clarke was cleaning up a nosebleed when Lexa came in. She was completely silent at first, waiting until the flow stopped, and she said, “I know something’s wrong, Clarke. And I wish you would tell me. I want to help.”

What could she say to that? _I’ve had your black blood on my hands more times than I can count._ Or, _Every time I save you, it feels like I’m being ripped inside out again._ Maybe she could really be the life of the party and mention the fact that she could manipulate time, and had been using that ability to counter assassins for months, and it was probably melting her internal organs.

Out loud she said, “Maybe later, Lexa.”

“I’ll be here.” Lexa kissed Clarke’s temple and left the room.

 

It was one of her own guards, betraying her. Lexa went down, the knife still in her neck, and Clarke reached out.


End file.
